This is the best random hand-out flier ever—World Naked Bike Ride. I'd actually consider doing this, if only to give my dad yet another answer to the "What are you doing with your life?" naked question.

I saw a dog peeing on a fire hydrant this morning. It's such a cliche cartoon image, but I don't think I'd ever actually seen a real dog with a real fire hydrant.

Just looking at LiveJournal, three people in a row were doing the book meme (nearest book, 23rd page, 5th sentence, blah blah blah) so I had to try it out. I got:

Also, a number is assumed to be positive unless it is preceded by the minus sign (-).

That is my PHP and MySQL book sitting on my desk at work. I wasn't surprised that quite a few people have come up with similarly geeky results.

This is the best response to dealing with Karla yet:

dilinger7337: listen, if you'd just light her on fire
dilinger7337: everyone's problems would be solved

At the end of the day Charon split a pile of futures between Karla and I (the kind of thing that drivers her crazy because she can't technically complain, but futures are supposed to be hers, all hers!) "It'll take you five minutes," Charon said. What she didn't realize is we were off in two. And what makes it especially cruel is that everyone was trying to leave as quickly as possible to beat the game traffic.

I'd obviously missed my bus by the time I was done so I had to use up some time until 5:00, when overtime kicks in. If they're going to make me miss my bus, they're certainly going to pay for my time.

Mexican Woman Performs Own Caesarean to Save Baby. ! ! ! and more !!

I just found out that Fred Phelps, the embodiment of pure evil in this country, is coming to Seattle to protest at various churches as well as the Seattle City Hall and King County Courthouse for their recognition of out of state same-sex marriages. He's even getting pretty close to me, protesting at St. Mark's Cathedral on May 23rd. Counter-protests are being planned, but the man thrives on attention. I prefer the previous tactics I've read about, where people pledge to donate money to gay rights groups for every minute he protests.

No Event Parking Season has started. I guess there's some events in there too—baseball I'm guessing by all the t-shirts, but I claim ignorance about such things.

I got to work at 7:30am. Karla arrived at 7:32. Cutting it close but I wonder what absurd reason (other than beating a coworker) does someone have for getting to work so early? I found my answer when I went to wash out my tea cup and found the women in the bathroom doing their makeup, items spread out over three sinks.

I just can't see going through that effort for the sake of your coworkers, even though I know that I of all people am one who should be wearing makeup in public. Worse yet, I looked up to see Karla using an eyelash curler—the very existence of those things freak me out.

I'm putting together IKEA furniture, some small bathroom shelves. I don't necessarily want to be putting together furniture—I've assembled just enough to satisfy my manly abilities with a screwdriver—but once I started dumping parts out of the box I felt obligated to not leave it on the living room floor.

I think I'm coming down with a mild case of Ebola. I got to use that line on Ted this morning, someone who actually hadn't heard me say it before and therefore could appreciate it with the proper irony.

Anyway, I woke up with a sore throat and it seems to be the real thing this time.

For those of you who wonder why are civil rights are being eroded... Overheard at work:

"I don't know who's cooking something, but it's sure making me hungry.

It ought'a be illegal!"

Well, I guess I'm at least half joking.

More offerings from my Emily calendar... Good Friday, Easter Sunday Bunny Sunday, Bad Friday.

Why do the freaky people always have to try to interact with me on the dance floor during my favorite songs?

Bush just signed in the fetal rights law.

<! -- #include abortion--slippery_slope -->
<! -- #include standard_bush_ranting -->

I don't really have much to say that I haven't gone over before. I think party because outside of bad political contexts, a place I know does not exist in real life, I'm not sure if this really is a bad thing. Assaulting a fetus is a bad thing. Assaulting puppies is a bad thing. So I'm thinking about the wrong things instead:

There's a picture showing ten expectant, smiling people standing around the table, plus some number of unseen journalists and camera people. The actual signing can't take more than a few seconds with a flourish, and that seems like a lot of pressure to make it a proper display. At the same time it's a kindergarten exercise, "Look, little Georgie knows how to write his name! Let's all watch." It reminds me of when I was a kid and told my dad never to become President, because I didn't want the Secret Service following us around all the time.

I wasn't consciously aware of the day until just a bit ago, reading some people's LiveJournal April Fool's jokes. I knew the Google job was a joke, but not with any context other than being funny. I said I should put a 'Happy-clicker has closed' page up for the day, but as Selina said, it wouldn't be any different...

I think I've found Andrew's dream job.

I got am email from my DJ! I had to email Drizzle to be reminded of which IPs I'm paying for—using the right one goes a long way towards figuring out why I can't get a net connection in Linux—and the response came from Doug. I was wondering how long it be before I encountered him in a professional context. Every time I call I seem to get the slow-talking guy because I haven't found the secret password that says 'Talk to me like I know what I'm doing'.