*** Happy-clicker is on vacation for the week. ***

Expect updates when I get back, but for now I'm relaxing in tropical Puerto Vallarta—can you blame me?

You have to admire the really crazy people to an extent. When they can't stop laughing at the things the voices in their heads are saying, at least they're being more entertained than the rest of us.

"THIS IS NOT A ROLLING PHONE BOOTH!"

This is based on actual bus experience of course. "Tell them about your missing tampon. Tell them about the holes in your nylons in embarrassing places." Before he started making actual sentences I could hear, he was still laughing to himself non-stop and occasionally looked over at me as if to see if I got the joke too.

Those mini-kits are selling a make-your-own-mini-snow-globe kit. I seriously thought about buying it for Selina. (She can't slap me—I'm going to Mexico!)

Do you realize how hard it is for me to go into a bookstore with the mission of buying a book, one book, the book? I'm allowing myself to shop but I have to pick out the one piece of fiction that's going to hold me over while I'm away from all the other books? Of course I can't go into a bookstore and buy one book. I bought three.

Someone who likes coffee has to have a gingerbread latte from Starbucks for me. I heard about them from NWR a couple years ago, about how wonderful they are when they come out for the season, and each year I never get around to or forget to try one until it's too late. I just passed a Starbucks and realized I'm going to be gone until after Christmas.

Misheard quote of the day: "...home-cooked pervert?" followed by, "I only have to sell one more."

I feel so loved. Tom gave me a Happy Bunny sticker that says "you're ugly and your momma dresses you funny".

Now there's an interesting way to scare someone: too much money in the paycheck. I know, it sounds good in theory, but someone's going to notice the mistake and they always want the money back. It actually turns out they paid me for next week's vacation ahead of that time. Makes more sense that way all around I'm sure.

There has been much present-ness lately—a puzzle from Jason this morning, pretty things wrapped in pretty paper from Selina and Walker. Even with it being near Christmas, it surprises me.

Jason and I are both going to be gone for the holiday which means we have both been running around like crazy trying to get ready and get the house to some state of clean. He promised to finish the dishes last night, leaving me free to concentrate on other things, but warned me he'd be home late. I went to bed around midnight with no Jason home, heard no sounds in the night, and so when I woke up at 6 I had to get up to see how bad it as. The dishes were untouched.

I went back to bed and at 6:30 I heard Jason in the kitchen. When he said he was coming home late, and not sleeping, I didn't realize how serious he was! He got most of the dishes done and offered me a ride to work so I ended up with some overtime and a head start on my working-alone day.

Walker and Selina successfully prevented me from playing Final Fantasy and forced me to pack last night by delivering food and amusing themselves with my Palm games while I sorted clothes. Of course I prefer human company to the game, but it was especially funny how the pre-goodbye lingering (that part where you're standing up to leave but not actually leaving yet) lasted just long enough that I couldn't sneak in a few minutes before bed. Instead I ended up staying up past my bed time to clean my bathroom!

I'm almost done with my Perl For Kindergartdeners. Then I get to move on to Perl For First Graders, yay!

Christmas music is like a bunch of one-hit wonders that everyone and his dog have decided to cover.

Been playing too much Final Fantasy then top of an alfalfa sprout looks like a a Two-Leaf Mandragora Bud.

Psycho-girl's latest trick: She goes into the bathroom for a couple minutes and then back, looks around, then goes back in. A couple minutes later she does it again, even looking around the edge of the cube (at me?) before disappearing again. Come on, if you're going to take a break just take a break. No need to keep making sure you aren't missing out on any fun orders.

It's interesting to see, as we get closer to Solstice, a perfect crescent moon very visible in the sky when I leave for work. When I get back from Mexico the days will be getting longer.

Going by the new definition, my roommate must be a terrorist. The sink is covered in white powder from his Christmas gift making.

I just found the best Onion article ever... well maybe not ever, but at least for tonight! God Diagnosed With Bipolar Disorder

Bush Says He Could Back Gay Marriage Ban

"President Bush said Tuesday that he could support a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage." So, you don't like something but the constitution won't let you properly violate people's rights or invade their personal life? Let's change the Constitution! I wonder how long before they try do away with the Bill of Rights altogether and replace it with the Patriot Act. Is it November yet?

'2004 or 1984?' Wouldn't that (or a more eloquently worded variation) make a great slogan for an anti-Bush candidate?

For those of you who thought my landlady was weird to have recycling in the lease, Seattle council makes recycling mandatory.

When I canceled my Earth & Beyond account I meant to take some screenshots of my characters, my ships, and especially my gay Progen warrior named Loofa, to save since this was my first MMORPG. It shows how much I like Final Fantasy XI that I don't care if I missed my deadline, but I decided to try logging in tonight—which meant downloading all the patches since I last played, oops. Account's no good anymore. Now I uninstall!

I saw the headline, 'Many Urban Students Score Below Average'. Not to make light of the state of the educational system in this country but I'm still waiting to see the headline 'Half of Students Below Average'. (Everyone remembers what 'average' means, right?) Actually, let me check The Onion...

This has been such an unusual day for people's tempers. The bus driver got annoyed at people ringing the bell multiple times (I didn't even know you could do that. Usually it only works once per stop.) and turned it off. Later he put us on "probation" and turned it back on.

I seem to have acquired a Hot Topic frequent buyer card. Does that mean I have to admit I'm a frequent buyer? It's the Sanrio that gets me.

I had to find a new travel bag for all my cute little travel sized products since Andrew made me feel self-conscious about my Hello Kitty bag being too 'fluffy'. So I got a new Hello Kitty bag, essentially a clear plastic Hello Kitty head purse. The stuff that came inside is just incidental.

I know there entire web pages out there dedicated to men's (public) bathroom etiquette. (No I'm not going to find them. I'm sure you've seen them all before.) Luckily it's not nearly as complex for girls, given the lack of visual contact, but still... why would someone walk a large, nearly empty bathroom and pick the one stall right next to me—and then not wash her hands?

I picked up a Jesus flier that was stuck inside the window of the bus shelter. I think the collage of sins caught my attention so I'm trying to read it discretely on the bus and use it as a checklist. (Who knows all about your sins? The Bible says JESUS does!)

murder You think this one would be on a different scale than all the rest. I'd much rather stand next to a luster than a murderer, and I frequently do, whether it be at the Wet Spot or that icky kind of guy who stares at me as I walk by. But I guess things work differently in weird bible land.

Having an affair Well I'm not married so I can't be having an affair but being polyamorous probably falls in this category anyway. And there's that whole pre-martial sex thing that's always an issue to begin with.

Witchcraft Can't say that I have. I did watch Bewitched as a kid though (not Sabrina) and I wanted to be able to do that.

Pride Eh, boring. No comment.

Wanting something that belongs to someone else! Wow, exclamation point and all! You'd think murder would at least get that treatment. Hmmm... wanting something that someone else has... where do I begin?

Hate Ihatemyjob.Ihatemyjob.Ihatemyjob.Ihatemyjob.

stubbornness Ha!

Homosexuality (gay) I like how they put 'gay' in parentheses, in case you didn't know. I like that I spelled parentheses right on the first try. Bi-sexuality is okay then, right?

Incest I actually missed this one the first few times I read it. None for me, thanks.

Shacking What does that mean? 'Shacking up'? Do you have to be living together to be shacking up? All those phrases, 'living in sin' and all, seem to imply you have to be living together to be having sex.

Filthy Talk Oh come on, I go to the Wet Spot. I could've taken a class in it by now.

Stealing My mom says I stole a piece of candy from a store in Montreal when I was too young to remember. I suppose that counts, by purity test rules anyway.

Playing with the occult I was playing with the occult but then the occult's mom called it home for dinner. I wonder if going in Robert's store counts.

Drunkenness As far as I know I've never actually been drunk. Amazing, isn't it?

Hating parents Yep. Besides, I was a teenager once.

Lust Yeah, yeah, yeah... next?

Lying I'm bad at lying but I'm good at stretching the truth.

Worshipping false gods I suppose.

Ignoring God I'm not ignoring! I'm reading his little flier!

That was excitement... Work took the recycling away today.

Suddenly it feels really old to be labeled by a mood disorder. Rational feelings will be written off with irrational ones. If I was to say I spent an hour at work trying not to cry, the reaction would be something like 'oh no, she's at it again, call me when it's over' and not something like offers of more cuddling because I had a bad day. And I want more cuddling too... (or any cuddling—I'm feeling under-cuddled lately. With Andrew's new schedule he comes over later and we spend the rest of the evening planning, buying, and preparing food. With the new game we're having a lot less actual interaction and sit-down-watch-movie time.)

If it's not one thing here it's another. I've been yelled at, or more specifically yelled about where I can't defend myself, papers thrown at me, all over a period I didn't type because it didn't make sense there. She yells, 'make them type what I say! If I wrote it I want it to be typed!' which has never been the case. If only it were that easy! We're always interpretating, catching mistakes, expanding acronyms. Type as I mean not as I say. And so I get in trouble for leaving out a period, which could just as easily have been an ink spot, to make a word that made sense and was likely in context instead of an abbreviation that didn't make sense.

A period!

I'm so tired of working somewhere I feel sabotaged from the beginning—the salespeople do everything but write notes in invisible ink and complain when I don't see them—where I'm not allowed to do my job, where I'm not supposed to be fast, where there's blatant favoritism—I started keeping a tally of how many times salespeople give their orders straight to Karla—10 yesterday, 15 today, 20 orders total, compared to zero or one to me—where the rules are a double standard against me and she'll steal right off my desk, where I can't move anywhere else without a pay cut been I'm not *experienced* but I can keep doing the grunt work and remain unskilled.

Watching Office Space makes everything better, even if it's subconsciously. In fact, I think Office Space is therapy for your subconscious.

A public service announcement: The morning-after pill is available from pharmacists without a prescription. I didn't know that either. It might soon be available off the shelf too. Standard objections from anti-abortion and protect-the-children groups. Why can't protect-the-children groups ever realize that "children" (usually meaning teenagers, who are neither children or adults but their own species) need access to information and the ability to ensure their own (reproductive and other) health? Second, whether or not teenagers are having sex they need information to protect themselves now or later. Uninformed teenagers are going to grow up into uninformed adults. Third, the rest of the population has every right to access products and services legal for adults, whether it be violent video games, porn, or birth control.

Icky, rainy, windy out right now. I'm glad I've got a ride home—with brownies!

How can it be that I'm off for four days, that the work day hasn't officially started, and she can make me hate her that much already? There as no work left when I came in while she had ten. She gave me a line about expecting another salesperson to bring his in (does she realize she's outright admitting she plans to hoards all the work while I get leftovers? "I thought you were still on vacation," would have sounded better, had she been able to sound sincere.) She handed over three orders. The girl can't do simple math but she did walk away long enough for me to count and snag another one.

In the first hour I walk back to my desk to see her blatantly stealing my project. "I'm going to do the greens... It's just so slow..." 'Slow' is her excuse to steal any of my work and, "It's just a little something for me to do," is her line to keep me away from hers. I thought taking work off someone's desk was already a social faux pas. How do I protect it when I can't be at my desk at all times in the morning, especially when they'll inevitably bring stuff down when I'm getting tea or even on my way upstairs for them?

Everyone, please send me good job karma, good energy, happy thoughts, whatever you have to help insure this new job will stick around and I'll get it.

Conversation with myself today:

No Final Fantasy until you finish cleaning.
No, that's mean.
Okay, no Final Fantasy until you update happy-clicker.

Arguing with myself tends to be like arguing with a five year old.

I scheduled a pseudo-job interview with AppleOne, an agency, because you can schedule yourself in online. I was trying to find the right balance between 'treat it like a real interview' and 'don't worry, it's not a real interview'. The biggest goal of my time off is to work on my job hunt.

I was still pleasantly surprised to come out of there with an actual job possibility. A company looking for a temp-to-hire after the first of the year. I'll find out more later, if the client doesn't change their mind, as I was warned they're apt to do.

My random thought of the day: I just need breast implants and I could be the classic hour-glass pin-up type.

Snow gathering was canceled because of the weather. It seems unfortunate to cancel a snow day because of snow (couldn't you just drive up to the edge of the snowfall and start collecting?) but I'm looking at the wind outside and I can see it's a day no one would want to be out in.

I was looking for sunblock in Bartells for my trip to Mexico. (I don't care what Andrew tells me, I still want SPF 8000.) I noticed that sunscreen and artificial tan cream are mixed together, logically (as logically as condoms next to pregnancy tests anyway.) The intensities of artificial tan were alternating 'dark' and 'medium'. I wonder if anyone makes a 'slightly less than pale' shade for people who are so pale they wouldn't look right if they tried to go as tan as 'medium'.

It looks like post-9/11 patriotism has truly taken over to the exclusion of all else. I've been looking for a Canadian flag patch as a supplemental Christmas gift for Andrew since he wanted one after reading the article earlier this week. Of course where to find a Canadian flag in the wrong country? I tried a luggage shop who suggested a tourist shop and Pike Place. (Well, everyone suggested Pike Place.) I found quite a few places that used to have them, sold quite well even, according to one guy. However I could find obscene amounts of American flags, eagles, and God Bless America tourist paraphernalia.

Teen Angst Hello Kitty. No, really, Teen Angst Hello Kitty. I had to buy it or no one would believe it exists, and it wasn't in Hot Topic either.

She's wearing a little vinyl dress that I realized looks just like my little velvet dress except for the fabric difference, a black vinyl bow, and little black wrist bands. It is definitely the most adorable thing ever. Yes, the tag really does say Teen Angst Hello Kitty.

I forgot my Palm while I was out so I had to take some notes on actual paper.

Going through the motions of going to work is such a strange feeling. I followed the same path—to the bus tunnel, take a southbound bus, off at Spokane, cross the street, walk in the back way—had the same heavy feeling hit as I opened the side door even though I wasn't staying. I found out after the fact that I could request to get my check early with a few days advance notice.

It's hard to force a sleep debt on your day off. I went to bed after 4, after the Grind and Denny's and a couple minutes of working on Jeremy's web site. I set my alarm for 10 hoping to get up early and be productive. I woke up a little before, said "No way," and reset it for 11, actually got up around noon. Eight hours isn't bad—ideally my body likes ten, but in the other ideal I wouldn't have slept at all.

I'm insanely overbooked today. Have to pick up my paycheck and therefore go to the bank. Selina wants me to get home while it's still daylight to go driving. Walker is offering brownies and possibly dinner, and when Andrew gets off of work we're going to game night. In between all that, I have to get Jeremy's site updated, get my own up to date, and start my massive cleaning/reorganizing project. I shouldn't even get into all of the other projects I told myself I'd have time to work on again when I was on vacation. (Themed CDs, learning Perl, playing Final Fantasy...)

When Selina or I walk by streetlights they go out. When we walk by them together, they go on. I'm not imagining it. It's not coincidence—I've never seen a light just happen to go off when I'm halfway down the block, and I've looked. I guess we're not the only ones who have this experience. There was a whole topic on NWR about it and someone posted a link to this article where they study the possibilities.

Saw someone on the bus wearing a mohawk but didn't have the rest of his head shaved. Looked weird, like he was trying to cover for a really bad hair day.

Misheard (I hope!) quote of the day: "I sucked a lot of noses! Okay?"

Then I heard, may or not have been misheard, "I know Rebecca walks funny but that's different." I had to go ask Paul just to see what the story was and the way he started laughing nervously before I told him what I heard means I must have been right about my name.

One of the outside salespersons brought in his Pomeranian dog named Rump Roast for a while. I always thought Pomeranians were smaller and poofier, but I've been going form a dog food commercial with "prize winning" Pomeranians so maybe round poofiness is a show quality.) So the wanna-be-foofy dog was actually cute but that didn't stop me from wanting to see how far I could throw it.

Unfortunately this gave Lou a reason to walk around talking to anyone who would listen about his dog of the same type, Peaches. Only thing worse than an old cat lady I guess is an old dog man.

I got my first letter about the company's profit sharing plan, handed to me by Kermit who explained it a bit. I still don't completely know what it's all about but there's some amount of money in it—don't know if it's a lot or a little comparatively—and if I leave now I get some percentage of it, and if I'm around a long time I get it all.

My prayers must have been answered. Psycho-girl called in sick, and tomorrow I'm on vacation. It's so strange to walk in and not hear the printer going, see actual orders waiting.

There's a 2004 American Presidental Candidate Selector on this site which I think is the same that had the test to tell you which religion matched you, going by the style of the test. They're more details and well put together than the random 'Which _____ of _____ are you?' quizzes people throw together.

Amazingly enough, there's someone who scored lower than Bush (who's 4% for me.) At 0% is Howard Phillips of the Constitution Party. As I read his bio I see he couldn't be any more to the opposite of everything I believe in.

"The Constitution Party will uphold the right of states and localities to restrict access to drugs and to enforce such restrictions in appropriate cases with application of the death penalty."

"The pre-born child, whose life begins at fertilization, is a human being created in God's image. The first duty of the law is to prevent the shedding of innocent blood. It is, therefore, the duty of all civil governments to secure and to safeguard the lives of the pre-born."

"We call for repeal of federal wetlands legislation and the federal Endangered Species Act. Moreover, we oppose any attempt to designate private or public property as United Nations World Heritage sites or Biosphere reserves. We call for an end to United States participation in UN programs such as UNESCO, Man and the Biosphere, and the UN Council on Sustainable Development. We oppose environmental treaties and conventions such as the Biodiversity Treaty, the Convention on Climate Control, and Agenda 21, which destroy our sovereignty and right to private property."

This is getting frightening, and likely to be soon forgotten since there's no glamour in defending the rights of addicts. (Just like how all kids suspended over stupid zero-tolerance rules have to be straight-A, never-did-anything-wrong students because who cares about mediocre occasional troublemakers being unjustly punished? They were going to do something wrong sooner or later anyway, right?)

The first woman in this country was convicted of murder of her stillborn baby, for using cocaine while pregnant. "The absence of any scientific research linking cocaine use to stillbirth didn't matter. Nor did it matter that the state couldn't conclusively prove that McKnight's cocaine use actually caused Mercedes's stillbirth." The article is called http://www.alternet.org/story.html?StoryID=17320Criminalizing Motherhood

Another reason to preview those tapes yourself before giving them out—Vicar Distributes Porn Films by Mistake. Haven't there been enough accidental porn stories by now that people would know better? If you're going to put an unchecked tape in the VCR with your parents and 80 year old grandmother, it's bound to be porn, and all the more likely if you've made your own.

I was walking to the bus from Uwajimaya when a woman put herself in front of me, cigarette in hand, asked "Hey, would you do a favor for me if I gave you five dollars?" I told her no, kept walking, but wonder what the favor was. Worth some easy money?

Past her the sidewalk was covered with Monopoly money, the Monopoly box sitting nearby. In the street seemed to be the remains of a plate full of hamburgers thrown into the air and then ran over on the street. The man in the middle of it all may have just finished some performance art that didn't earn him any more than the Monopoly money was worth.

On the corner one wanted to chat, asking if I had a good day, and so on... Luckily he didn't stick around when the light changed.

Crossing with another light, a bearded man who easily looked less than sane leaned his head over as far as he could towards me as we passed.

My site went down last night, right as I was going to bed. Got a message from Andrew asking, "What's wrong with happy-clicker?" Anyone who went by at the wrong time last night – this morning just got a bad_httpd_conf error. I had to take down my most recent updates to make sure it was nothing in my code and then email Dreamhost.

I like Dreamhost's support form. One of the fields is ' Please select your general expertise in the area of this request' and the answers range from 'Please explain everything to me very carefully.' to 'Not to be rude, but I probably know more about this than you!'

I had to show this article to Andrew—"Canadians should be careful not to appear "boastful" to Americans, who are insecure because of the war in Iraq and admit they are annoyed by northerners showing off the red maple leaf on their luggage when they travel, a recent federal report warns." Of course now he wants a maple leaf of his own.

Every year I tell myself I have to cut back on Christmas shopping because I'm poor. I should follow Andrew's rule of only buying for family and person(s?) dating at the time. But I like the puzzle of matching gifts to people, and if money wasn't an issue I'd probably play Santa Claus to every one I know, so every year I end up going overboard in my shopping.

This was a very productive shopping day for me. Jeremy led me to a gaming store looking for the original Chez Geek for Andrew. They do carry it, but unfortunately they sold out. Still, just finding the original game is an achievement.

I have the day off and Final Fantasy is down for maintenance from 9 to 5. Perfect timing, isn't it? At least it'll ensure I get something productive done today.

This'll go right along with the kid being punished for the word 'gay'. Brazilian mayor closes town to gays.

As always when Karla has the day off for whatever reason, I start to think this job could be almost tolerable if it was this way all the time.

I suddenly have a craving for an orange juice popsicle.

I heard familiar-sounding music from the warehouse and I had to stop until I could place it—Eleanor Rigby. Don't laugh at me but I've never heard the original.

The phantom work smell came back with a vengeance and this time I can most definitely say it has nothing to do with me. Around the area of the next desk over was a very strong smell of, quoting a coworker, "bad butt" ("And what is good butt?") She sprayed half a can of Lysol and it went away.

It's hard for me to tell for sure if my rosacea is clearing up properly because it seems to go in cycles anyway. There's a freckle on my nose that is much more prominent this morning, not so drowned out by the red. That's a good sign.

I knew I had published too soon last night since this came through my email later: Boy punished for talking about gay mom. The ACLU is on the case, of course.

For all the coffee shops in Seattle, there's never one in my direct path when I'm looking. I went looking for the first Starbucks. Would that have made me a supporter of local businesses?

I went looking for the condom store by Pike Place. The door was locked at 5:30. One sign said open until 5:30 and another said Holiday Hours until 6. I came back later thinking the person may have just wandered away without putting up a sign, but then the store was dark.

I went looking at the flower shop outside of Pike Place. I'm taking Andrew to dinner at the Melting Pot for our anniversary tomorrow and I'm trying to pull off the traditional date in reverse. (In buying me the game he put the date planning responsibility onto me.) But the roses were just a bit out of my price range right now. Yes, technically I spent just as much on coffee, but I'm already buying the boy the most expensive dinner of my life!

I'm having decorating ideas beyond my current budget, and I should be consulting with Jason before going too far with any plans to change the house.

The spare room downstairs hasn't really been used since Jason moved in except as an extra storage area. I want to recreate some of the nice setup Kris had, making sort of a reading nook. I'm watching out for people giving away free futons so we can have a couch. (Futon has the advantage of doubling as a spare bed.) I want to put something on the walls so the room will be more comfortable feeling, and a nice floor lamp in the corner. Later, an actual TV so we can at least watch movies.

I got a call from HR telling me that even with all the time I'm taking off, I still have two vacation days left. I had thought when you take vacation around a holiday you don't get holiday pay and so I was considering the week off for Mexico to be a week off. I wish I had known all this so much sooner—I can't complain about free time off but I'd rather space it out when I really need a break from work, and all the ."good" days are already taken.

I keep having this bad taste in my mouth, especially when I wake up. I noticed that my lip seems to be cracking in the middle on the inside as well, so I wonder if it's my blood I've been tasting. Some vampire I'd make if I don't even like the taste of my own blood. Or maybe, despite what the mosquitoes tell me, my blood does taste bad, making me safe from vampires.

For the record, the actual reason I took so long to update has nothing to do with the game. I didn't go home Wednesday night and so I never had my laptop in the right place to get the updates off my Palm.

I stayed up too late doing that last night, but it feels better not to have a backlog of words.

Anyone want to join my bank (formerly Credit Union of the Pacific)? We'll both get free $10 Bon-Macy's gift cards.

I overheard a coworker on the phone (the one I always tend to overhear, and tells her same stories over and over and over...) saying she was ready to go back to work after the long holiday. "There was nothing on TV..."

It seems this same coworker also went out shopping Friday, at Wal-Mart of all places. She was talking about how crazy it was, and "never again, never again..." I can't help wondering, what was she expecting?? It's a known fact that you don't go out early on the National Consumer Shopping Holiday, especially go out early, unless you consider shopping to be a sport, something along the lines of running with the bulls.